Relationships are very different when you are travelling. I’ve already talked about the amazing friendships that I have developed. But what I didn’t expect to happen was to begin falling for someone.
A little back story. I’ve only had one serious relationship, which was a high school relationship that ended about 7 or 8 years ago. There have been other not so serious flings or whatever you would like to call them, however there is no real reason as to why I haven’t dated much since then. I have gone back and forth about wanting to have a partner. In the last 3 or 4 years while dealing with my own anxieties, I have made myself emotionally unavailable. I really wanted to deal with my own problems and not push them on someone else. I see a partner as someone who makes your problems seem like nothing, but not solve them for you. It was important to me to take care of myself before I added another person in the mix.
When I decided to go travelling, it was like my final test. I felt mentally strong enough to challenge myself. Going to foreign countries and dealing with any obstacles and unexpected events that came my way was like a test. I never had intentions to catch feelings for anyone, but it just happened. Kind of the best way for something like that to happen. You know, people say that someone will come along when you least expect it. And he did.
He was great. He still is great. I feel like I learned a lot from him about just chilling and living in the moment. About truly appreciating the times and experiences that we are fortunate to have not only while travelling but also in the mundane aspects of life. He just always seems to look on the bright side. He isn’t one of those overly joyous, happy-go-lucky types, but I can’t think of any time where he would complain about someone or something. Most of all, he taught me that I’m not this broken person and I am capable of feeling that way about someone again.
We are not together. Whether he feels the same or not, doesn’t matter. Liking another traveler would have to be one of the best and worst things to happen to me. I’d love to share my experiences with someone that I deeply care about. Meeting other couples along the road has shown me how magical that could be. However, in most cases with travelers, we are all going our own path and eventually that path splits.
Heartbreak will follow you around no matter what. I can feel it even when I’m having the best time. I think it is normal to feel that way for a bit when you have strong feelings for someone. I’d like to say that everyday it gets better, but I can’t lie. What I can say though, is that falling for someone even in the comfort of my home in Canada would have broken me years ago. It’s shown me how important it is to take this time to focus on myself because now I feel as if I can handle anything.